Flight Risk

What does flight risk mean?

For most parents the scariest thing in the world is, for their child to go missing. When you look away for a split second and turn back around and your child is gone. The panic that sets in is scary, the fear that you might never see them again. Then you spot them and relief flood your system. You get them in your arms and then you tell them never to do that again. That is one of the worst things that can happen as a parent, the terror that takes over your body when you think you have lost your child. For some parents, this happens on a regular basis because their child has Autism and is a flight risk.

Why is it so dangerous?

For a child or adult with Autism, being a flight risk means, taking off for no obvious reason. One minute that child or adult is beside you, you then turn away for a second and when you look back they have disappeared. They will have given no reason or warning for taking off and this is the worrying part. Studies in America have shown a huge number of children with Autism are a flight risk. This can happen as often as once a day or week, parents have to be much more vigilante and try to predict when their child is going to take off. Some children and adults with autism are non-verbal meaning they cannot talk. They communicate in other ways like pictures, pointing and sign language. If they wonder off they have no way of asking the people around them for help.

No sense of danger:

Some children with Autism have no sense of danger, they will put their hand on something hot, climb something they can’t get down from and walk across the road without checking for cars. They don’t see the danger in things like this. They are told that, what they are doing is dangerous and they still do it. Sometimes the child can grow out of this but not in all cases, so their parents have to take extra precautions when at home and outside.

How it started for us:

Emma was 2 years old when she started getting too close to the fire, climbing furniture, trying to play with plug sockets and trying to run away in shops. We changed things in our house to prevent Emma from getting hurt like putting the baby proof plugs in empty sockets and putting a big cage around the fire place. These were the easy things to fix but some things were harder. At home we could lock the doors and keep the windows closed to make sure she couldn’t get out and run off but when we were outside of the house it was harder to keep her safe.

Personal experiences:

Over the years Emma has tried a few times to run away in shops where the exit has automatic doors. I will be paying at the till and I see her in the corner of my eye starting to run off. I have to drop everything and run after her before she gets out onto the road. It wasn’t something that you could see coming, she wouldn’t stare at a place and then run to it. She would be playing away or standing beside me and in a split second she would decide to run off. There have been a few times she has gotten as far as the doors before I have caught her. The terror that fills me while she is running away, all I can do is, hope I am fast enough to catch her. When I catch her she is laughing as if it is a game of chase. Sometimes when she is getting off the bus after school she would take off down the street while I am talking to her escort about Emma’s day in school. I drop everything and run down the road after her with my heart in my mouth hoping to god a car does not reverse out of a driveway. It is a horrible feeling thinking you might not able to get to your child before they get hurt.

How it affected us mentally:

It has given me anxiety about bringing her out to the shops for years. When I did bring her out with me I would be on edge waiting for her to run. If I was at the till paying and had to let go of her hand I would be watching her the whole time just in case she decided to run. Many nights I have woken up in a cold sweat having dreamed that she has ran off. The first night in our new house, I woke up terrified about her escaping through her bedroom window. It is an older house and the window at the bottom opens out fully and they have no locks. The owners wouldn’t change the windows so I had to nail her bottom window shut to make sure she is safe. Bringing her anywhere new was stressful because I didn’t know where the exits were, most of the time I would make an excuse not to go because I would be too stressed otherwise. Emma can’t go out on the street to play with the other children by herself because she might run. I have tried going out with her but the other children don’t want to play with her if I am there. I bring her out to play when they aren’t on the stress because she gets upset that they don’t want to play with her. It is tiring always having to be on high alert and having to check if a place is safe for her to play.

Things that have worked for us:

When Riley was born and I had her in the buggy I used to be terrified of bringing Emma with us in case she ran off. I couldn’t leave one child alone to run after the other. To my surprise, having Emma hold onto the buggy and help push her sister has helped with her running off. I think she feels protect of her sister when we are outside the house and she wants to keep an eye on her. Age has helped as well, we have told her how dangerous it is to run away from us and I think she is starting to understand that now. Now that she can talk we have told her to tell someone who works in the shop that she is lost, who she is and our names. I have our names and address in her backpack in case she ever runs off. When I don’t have the buggy I get her to hold my hand and when I am paying I get her to stand in front of me so I can see where she is.

Tell us about your experiences:

Is your child is a flight risk and have they gotten away from you?

What are your fears and anxiety around it?

What has worked for you and your child?

Have you any advice for other parents going through the same thing?

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Martina